Here’s the backstory: Mr. Johnny Hollywood has an english comedy show in Cologne and I feel very blessed that he once asked me to perform in english at his show – what a crazy idea! I was thrilled – I usually perform in german, but since all the comedy I watch is english (because imho english comedy is better), so I thought “why not?”.
You can watch my first performance here and again I feel very blessed that that video kinda went viral and already has over 230,000 views.
I plan to perform more often in english, so if anybody wants to book me, anywhere in the world, contact me at email@example.com
You can find weird stuff on the toilet of the Playboy Club Cologne – well, not that weird, but paper towels. Which Playboy bunny has to fold them? The overweight one? Who knows … also a litle bit of something about laws in Germany, did you know it is not illegal to “love” an animal?
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you. You are the epitome of everything I’ve ever looked for in another human being. Love is too weak a word for the way I feel. I lurv you. I loave you. I luff you. I sort of feel like I’m on drugs when I’m when you. Not that I do drugs, unless you do drugs, in which case I do drugs all the time. There’s only one place in the world I call home and it’s because you’re there. I’d feel better sitting outside your apartment on the curb than any other place I can think of or imagine. I’m not waking up another morning without being able to look at you next to me. I? would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.
Can’t you see what I’m trying to tell you, I love you! Very much. No other love but you. I love you. Like a sickness and its cure together. I love you. (Ditto.) I should have told you every day from the moment I met you. You complete me. Te adoro, Maria. I love you Chicken. I love you Honey Bunny. I think that’s the only thing I’ve ever been really sure of in my entire life. You are the woman that I want. How many more times do I have to say it? (One more time would be nice.) You have bewitched me, body and soul. Whatever I am… I’m yours. I am so in love with you. You’re the only one for me.
I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is. Love means never having to say you’re sorry. Love is a many-splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love! Some people search all their life for this and never find it. You think this happens everyday? I love you dream woman! What do I have to do to prove it to you? Huh? You want the moon? You want me to renounce my throne? The wooing, the spooning, I am all in! Because when you find the one… you never give up. All I ever wanted… was you!
I love you. I love you. I love you. I’ve loved you more than any woman’s ever loved a rabbit. I love you more than anyone has ever loved. I love you more than my life. I love you more than band music and cookie-making. I want to be with you. I made up my mind you were the only woman for me. I’ve loved you since the first day I met you, and I’ll never stop. I’ll love you always. Until your heart stops beating. ‘Til the stars turn cold. Forever. I’ve never felt that before.
I love you. Can’t believe how many times I’m saying it! I love you. Because I came alive when I met you. And there’s only one person that makes me feel like I can fly. So I will wait forever for you, okay? I will wait the rest of my life. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day. I love you. I love you. I love you! I love you! I love you. I always have. And I always will. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of the life to start as soon as possible.
Ich habe absichtlich kein Video gewählt auf dem Mann sieht, wie die Menschen trampeln und zerquetscht werden. Gibt es, aber außer Sensationsgelüste zu befriedigen, hilft so ein Video niemandem und muss nicht hier zu finden sein. Wer es braucht wende sich ans Privatfernsehen. Mein Tipp für die morgige Bildschlagzeile “Hier sterben gerade 19 Menschen auf der Loveparade”, dazu ein unverpixeltes Foto in groß.