Scheisse bauen und wiedergewählt werden.

Bush hat es erfolgreich vorgemacht (wobei er ja nie „wieder“gewählt wurde) und nun folgt Blair. Das muss irgendwie voll das Geheimrezept sein, dass die Politiker gefunden haben, trotz Kriegstreibereien wiedergewählt zu werden. Allerdings, wenn man sich Blairs Wahlkreis anschaut ist das ja auch kein Wunder – einige seiner Gegenkandidaten:

– Cherri Blairout-Gilham (Pensioners Party)
Cherri ist der Name von Blairs Frau

Sie schreibt: „It was the sense of powerlessness that I felt after the 2003 anti-war march failed to stop the war that propelled me into the murky world of politics. I felt I couldn’t stand back and do nothing. In January 2005 I came to Sedgefield on an anti-war ticket, changed my name to Cherri Blairout-Gilham and joined the Pensioners Party to represent them.

Was auch etwas strange ist, denn die Frau ist ein Ex-Seite-3 Girl, und noch viele viele Jahre von der Rente entfernt.

– William Brown (We Want Our Country Back)
Jonathan McQueen Cockburn (The Blair Must Go Party)

Wobei man sich fragt, ob der auch seinen Namen geändert hat, weil etwas in seiner Hose gebrannt hat…

– Mark Farrell (National Front Britain For The British)

aus dem Jahre 1933.

– Melodie Elizabeth Staniforth, commonly known as Boney Maloney (The Official Monster Raving Loony Party)

Die was? Die Official Monster Raving Loony Party. Sie sind für die Einführung der 99 penny Münze, damit man im Supermarkt nicht dauernd sowieviel Wechselgeld zurück bekommt:

„If Loonies ran the world, income tax would be abolished (we’d all be asked to chip in as and when cash is needed), a 99p coin would be introduced to save on change, and the rest of the EU would be invited to join our currency.
The rich would be taxed to pay for the printing of money (as they use the most) and tax credits would go to nice people. Any Cabinet minister found telling lies would find themselves shot across the Channel from a circus cannon, to save time and first-class travel expenses.
Class sizes would be reduced by making pupils sit closer together at smaller desks. Bright pupils would be fitted with dimmer switches, so they don’t distract the rest of the class. All children would be given two birthdays, like the Queen.
Loony transport policy dictates that all shopping centres would have pram lines, and cars would be converted to run on Veno’s, cutting congestion. All traffic wardens would be forced to change their name to Dick Turpin, because their job involves daylight robbery.
Anyone caught breaking the law would be made to mend it. All officers would be made to say „Hello, hello, hello“, thereby „trebling the police force“.
Meals for needy pensioners would be served on plates, not wheels, and the elderly would be issued with heated loo seats. Fast food would be labelled „may contain traces of real food“. The national anthem would be Bring Me Sunshine, as sung by Morecambe and Wise.
At the sillier end of Official Monster Raving Loony Party policy, people who think they have a right to roam would have to seek permission from the Pope, and politicians who want to start a war would be packed off to the country in question with a bag of conkers, so that they can conker it themselves. Footballers would wear slippers to make the game more interesting.“

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Über ui.

Manuel Wolff ist der Autor von "ui. der blog.", Außerdem "ui. der vlog." auf Youtube und diverse andere Projekte. Hauptberuflich Stand Up Comedian und Musikkabarettist und Improgott. G+

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